stress part #2: to build a beautiful life

It’s so easy to feel like we don’t have a choice in this battle against stress. Our worlds are so busy, there’s too much on our plates, we’re already not getting enough sleep as it is, and it’s easier to get the takeaway, there’s no space in the schedule for the gym, and really, how on earth can we spark joy in our lives when we have no spark left?

We are burnt out and we are paying the price.

Our hormones are suffering, our digestion is screaming at us, our brains are foggy and we have no energy to change any of it. So it seems.

But honestly, you have to take a second right now and read this: “Problems are not the problem; coping is the problem,” says clinical therapist Virginia Satir.

Phew. How is that for a lightening bolt of clarity?

Yes we’re busy. Yes we’re tired. Yes we’re fu%king done.

But the amazing news is that the path to healing begins with just one small step. One small step to coping just a little better. Right now, I’m burnt out from a full on year at uni - where I studied full time (most of my degree to date has been part-time), and had a baby in tow! Yep, Little Miss turned one year old the weekend I finished my last lecture and tutorial of the year! And I’ve not hidden the fact that things. fell. apart.

We lived on crappy takeaway, our finances are a mess as we juggled me not working much, studying more, and daycare fees on top of years of holy moly expensive IVF and pre + postnatal treatments and specialist, high-risk care. Our mental health has been hit hard with Covid and a new baby, because while she is the delight of our lives and our dream come true, parenthood is the hardest thing we’ve ever done. So yep, it’s been a ride. BUT, it’s also been amazing -> 'brutiful' as Elizabeth Gilbert coined.

And now, while babe is in daycare, and no one has gastro, or bacterial viral infections, or colds (what the hell is with daycare lurgies ALL THE TIME 🤦)… I’m making a big butt shaped dent on the couch. I’m binge-watching crappy Xmas romcoms on Netflix, and series of equally delicious crappy light hearted comedies. I’ve got a pile of books next to me, a dozen books I’ve picked up from the library and am reading a chapter of here and there. And it’s wonderful.

Step 2 of rebuilding is the home cooked dinners and food (ohhhh how I’ve missed consistent home cooking!) - but you know how we deal with stress? We do the best we can in the time, and then we rebuild. We fall apart, and then we rebuild from there. And when we have the energy, we build even stronger defences. But today, Step 1 is rest.

It’s not rocket science - certain habits promote resilience to stress, and building useful coping strategies are awesome, but so are the consistent habits of exercise and meditation. All in good time. Step by step. And we try to build a beautiful life in the moments when we can catch our breaths.

Have you been able to catch your breath today, dear ones?

SOURCES:

https://www.verywellmind.com/tips-to-reduce-stress-3145195

step back

Like any good curveball, we rarely see them coming. Those new chapters in life that make us catch our breath. Those periods when we feel like we’re spinning a little out of control.

Know what I’m talking about?

And it’s exactly these moments that make our yoga practice and our habits of self care seemingly fall apart.

My babe turned 1 year old this past weekend - and we had a beautiful birthday party for her (and a surprise wedding!) and as I look back on the year I gotta say, I am still in a little shock, and a bit breathless!

The best tip I can offer for these moments (or years!) of the world shifting? Step back.

Yes: step back. Be gentle. We are so used to fixing and pushing and doing. But really, there are seasons in life for rest -just as there are for creation.

Don’t overdo. Let the moment do it’s thing. Don’t rush to get your body back after baby (because you never lost it - you created a human, you wonder woman you!). Don’t rush to settle into a routine - let it unfold.

Don’t push too hard. Feeling uninspired in your work or your practice? We so quickly have the instinct to readjust and try something new, but at times, doing less and letting our practice shine or our work glide along is just what we need.

Just show up. I’ve talked a lot this past year about ‘pockets of practice’ and I’ve had so much positive feedback from you guys! It seems that hour long practices are NOT the norm for so many of you, juggling busy lives! And who would have thought, but hour long practices are NOT necessary - just showing up is. For 5 minutes. In your jeans. Sitting down to breathe. However it looks- pockets of practice can give you breath when you’re struggling, and inspire you when you need it. #someisbetterthannone .