There’s no two ways about it: when it comes to self-care, having a support system of friends and family can be incredibly helpful. So what does one do when that village is MIA? Maybe it’s you, your partner and your little one… and that’s it! Check out some top tips for self-care when your support system is limited:
Prioritize self-care: It's easy to put yourself last when you don't have anyone else to help take care of things, but it's essential to prioritize self-care. Now if you google self-care online, you’ll likely to come up with cheesy suggestions like taking a bubble bath, going for a walk, or reading a book. Breezy fixes, but really, faux self-care. I mean the real stuff here - practicing self compassion when you’re beyond sleep deprived and crying yourself. Having therapy to find ‘you’ again. Learning to live a life aligned with your values. Slow and steady - but ultimately, life changing. This also ties into all the following…
Find online support groups: For all its drama, the world wide web can actually be a goldmine of resources when it comes to finding support groups. When you find online communities of people going through similar experiences, you feel less alone; Maybe even a bit more ‘normal’, and we all want that, right? Check out facebook or reddit to start.
Make time for yourself: Even if you don't have anyone else to take care of, it's important to make time for yourself. I admit that hobbies went out the window in early motherhood for me, and it’s something I’m working on bringing back. Finding the joy in a new activity, or even just setting aside time each day to relax and do something that makes you happy can make all the difference.
Take advantage of resources available to you: As a mum with no family close by, who’s struggled with mental health, this one has been my saviour. When I’m taking a bit of a dive, I have a good network that includes my GP, therapist, naturopath, acupuncturist… and more Pilates! This always helps me pep back up. Look for resources in your area and don't be afraid to reach out for help.
Prioritize sleep: I’ve said it before and no doubt I’m going to say it many times over again as the years go on: sleep is critical for your physical and mental health! But it’s no surprise that it can be especially challenging to get enough rest when you’re a parent with no support system. Mummas with reflux babes, I feel and see you! You might struggle with getting enough, but adding in techniques like meditation, deep breathing or even a warm bath before bedtime can really help relaxation and the nervous system so you can fall asleep more easily when the time allows.
Practice gratitude: It sounds a bit fluffy, but finding things to be grateful for (even when things feel tough) can help shift your mindset and improve your mood. Keep a note in your phone and take a few minutes each day to write down things you’re grateful for, whether it’s your child’s smile, a warm cup of tea, or a supportive friend. This is a plus for resilience.
Be kind to yourself: Finally, if it feels hard parenting without a support network, that’s because it IS hard. Please be kind on yourself. It’s not uncommon nowadays for the juggle to be big: working, daycare, activities, self-care… If you are trying your best to raise a good and loving human, while being one yourself, remember that you're doing the best you can. And that’s pretty wonderful. x
Need to soothe your system?
Sources:
- https://www.happify.com/hd/the-science-behind-gratitude/
- https://www.mindful.org/parenting-with-self-compassion-10-self-compassion-practices-for-parents/
- How to Prioritize Self-Care for Your Mental Health.” Healthline, Healthline Media, 2 Dec. 2021, www.healthline.com/health/how-to-prioritize-self-care-for-your-mental-health
- “7 Tips for Coping Without a Support System.” Psychology Today, Sussex Publishers, 8 Dec. 2020, www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/when-disaster-strikes-inside-disaster-psychology/202012/7-tips-coping-without-support-system
- “The Science Behind Gratitude (and How It Can Change Your Life).” Happify, 22 Sept. 2014, www.happify.com/hd/the-science-behind-gratitude/
- “Parenting Without a Support System.” HealthyChildren.org, American Academy of Pediatrics, 5 Dec. 2019, www.healthychildren.org/English/family-life/family-dynamics/Pages/Parenting-Without-a-Support-System.aspx